Feeling numb

Long time no see or read… whatever. I’m sorry I’m not an active blogger but sometimes I’m like super duper motivated but most of the time I’m just a lazy potato laying in my bed and sleeping all day. Well, not the best lifestyle if you want to be good at school and want to have a life but what can you do πŸ™‚

Soo I wanted to do write about things you could call story time or something like this. But now I’m really wondering if my life is worth a story time or are the things I’m writing even stories? Well, I will find out soon I guess.

Now I’d see this post more like a personal diary because some things at the moment make me stay awake all night.

First of all my already mentioned laziness. I know I have a lot to do. For school, in general for my parents but I can’t get my butt up and do these things. Why? Am I ill or something? There’s a little bastard inside my brain that won’t let me get up and be productive and do something with my life. I can’t describe the feeling. And when I finally got to my desk, sat down and started learing I can’t stay there longer than one hour. I should really study for school but I can’t. It’s like a phobia that keeps me away from school stuff that I have to do and I start feeling numb and exhausted.

And then my anxiety. Every time someone talked about this anxious feeling you can get when you are in public or even at home I thought wow a lot of people seem to deal with that. And then I realized, well, me too. Because I have a fear of going out. Not with friends or someone like that but I have a huge fear of going out alone. Being by myself in public makes me shy and want to run away from everything. I start walking faster because I don’t want to stay at one spot too long because I don’t want to be seen maybe… I can’t describe the feeling. I never thought about going to a psycologist or something to talk about that but I don’t know, maybe it would help? Because how shall I get independent if I can’t even go to a grocery store to buy the things I need?

Maybe if you’re a little experienced in that topic and can give some advice, please leave me a comment. I’m really interested in finding out about this or if it even is anxiety what I have here. But I guess I can only find that out if I’m going to talk to a specialist which I don’t really want to be honest…

But enough of that now. If you want to say something about anxiety or laziness and feeling numb please leave a comment. Have a nice day xx



20 thoughts on “Feeling numb

  1. Sorry, I haven’t really experienced anxiety so I can’t offer much advice there but I do think what you described sounds like anxiety of some sort. I hope you’ll be able to figure out all this soon. πŸ™‚ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel exactly the same with classes and homework and stuff. I should get up and do them but I can’t. When I was in school I had a lot of anxiety going out too. I then discovered the art of listening to music while being on the street which in my country is rather dangerous because there are a lot of robberies. However up to this day I can’t go out without listening to music. I also walk really fast. I mean if I’m with friends it’s fine but when I’m alone I just can’t. It calms me down a lot and keeps me in my own world. I still pay attention in the streets obviously .
    If you feel like you can’t handle it and you might need help then I do suggest a therapist. It’s always easier when you talk to someone who is interested in helping you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes! Walking while listening to music is really like being in a different world. I enjoy that too. I guess we both understand each other with our fears and ‘problems’ πŸ™‚
      Thank you for your comment!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. yes, walking with music is a good idea. I am not sure it is really anxiety but rather insecurity. I was the same at your age, and then I went travelling around the world all by myself and completely got over that!! You need to push yourself to get out there. I am still shy in certain situations, but much better than I used to be.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I missed your posts so much!!! 😭😭😭 Anyways, I think you feel “burned out” about your school stuff… The monotomy & boredom can really get to you. I also experienced that in my college years, but what I did is that I desperately find a solution to keep my light burning… Which is aiming for a Latin Honor πŸ˜€ It worked for me & now I’m just 10 days away from my diploma & award ☺ Or maybe you can try to get involve more in your school community πŸ˜€ In being alone in public, I can also feel you! Sometimes I get awkward when I go to the mall or supermarket alone… And worse, I end up doing my awkward walk πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­ What I do is I pick up my earphones & just walk to the beat and I can feel myself not being awkward walking alone πŸ˜€ Hope my sharing can help ya ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youu! So nice to hear that πŸ˜€
      That’s really a good idea… I only have one year to go but I should really try to get involved into school stuff πŸ™‚
      haha walking to the beat sounds good :’D I’ going to make a playlist and try it πŸ˜€
      Thank you a lot! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. What really helped me get over laziness when it came to studying was instead of looking at homework as something you will being doing all year or all month , I would look at it as a daily challenge to improve as much as I could. Seeing Studying as working towards a letter grade at the end of the class was daunting. breaking it down into a daily challenge was easier. Mine was “i am going to do the homework I was assigned and look over the days notes every day after class” Just doing that earned me high marks. May not work for everyone but hopefully helps a tiny bit. you got this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that’s a really good trick because if you will be doing that all year you don’t have to study that much when it comes to the exams.
      I now also tried to start earlier to study before an exam because then I don’t have that much pressure and it is easier for me to remember the things.
      Thank you loads for your comment you got this too for sure xx


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