Demons in my Head

Confidence is a word everyone knows and everyone worries about. No one will say that him- or herself is flawless. Okay, there are some very lucky people that never had to worry about themselves and how others think they are, but there are also the ones who have little devils in their head that tell them they aren’t good enough and ugly.

I wish I could give you some tips on how to be happy with yourself. But the problem is that I also have this problem with my brain. It always tells me I’m not good, I’m not so pretty and not good enough at school. I compare myself to others, look what marks they have and how good-looking they are. Sometimes I hate myself for being me and for hating myself. I begin to spin weird thought that’ll never leave my head and I will always remember.

That’s the thing, you know. When people are telling my clothes look nice, my hair is pretty today, i always think ‘Yeah of course…’ But most of the people, telling me this, mean it. Why would they say it if they weren’t serious? But the bad insecurities that destroy me at night always whisper that it’s not true, that I should go home in my bed so no one will see me.I just remember the mean things they say to me, not the good ones.

I know that worries and problems like this aren’t comparable to problems others have. Famine and dead are not what I have to worry about but sometimes I just have lonely days where no one counts but me. I tell myself to come over it but yeah if I knew how I would have already done it.